Does islam promote beating your wife?
Now this is one of the most common allegations when it comes to women in islam.
Now the verse used to support their claim is
4:34
“Men are in charge of women by [right of] what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth. So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband's] absence what Allah would have them guard. But those [wives] from whom you fear arrogance - [first] advise them; [then if they persist], forsake them in bed; and [finally], STRIKE them [lightly]. But if they obey you [once more], seek no means against them. Indeed, Allah is ever Exalted and Grand.”
— Saheeh International
Now a different translation has “beat”. Some also have “discipline”
But for the sake of argument. Let's say it says “beat them”
Lets see what scholars of commentary (tafsir) have to say about this:
Ibn Katheer and Al Sadi’s tafsir for 4:34
As you can see by the explanations, it's a light beating. No harm to the wives.
Lets see what the prophet Muhammed (SAW) has to say about “beating” your wives.
He gives 2 key and simple solutions. 2 key points that cause no physical harm to your wives.
He says to not beat your wives:
He clearly says to not beat your wife.
Now. he gives another solution which is still no physical harm to your wife
2. He also says to give a light beating. So still no physical harm to your wife.
He gives 2 solutions that explain 4:34. Either a light beating or No beating at all.
These are authentic reports from the prophet himself.
(peace be upon him)
Now let's go to one of the stories of the prophets. In the quran. Where prophet Ayub peace be upon him got angry with his wife and made an oath that he will beat her (hurt her) when he gets better from being sick. He had to fulfill his oath even though he didn't want to hurt his wife. So Allah gave him a solution to get some grass And hit her with it. Grass isn't gonna hurt you. So Allah is clearly saying to beat your wife lightly.
So prophet ayub fulfilled his oath without causing harm to his wife thanks to Allah giving him a solution.
In Maarif-ul-Quran tafsir by Mufti Muhammad Shafi:
As you can see, Allah, the prophet and the scholars have said it's not a beating that's harmful.
Let's look on how the prophet told a woman to not marry this man because he beats/mistrats woman:
And when the prophet told the woman to get a divorce because her husband hit her:
The prophet himself did not hit any of his wives, said by one his wives Aisha:
Now to answer the question. “Does islam promote beating your wife?”
Short answer: No
Long answer: Nooooooo
Addressing other arguments relating to the argument:
Prophet muhammed struck aisha and it caused her pain.
As you can see in the hadith, the prophet hit Aisha and it caused her pain…but not so fast! It's a mistranslation, and it doesn't say “struck”.
The arabic word used here is “lahad”
Let's look at arabic dictionaries and see what does the word “lahad” means:
It means ‘to push’ Edward William Lane, Arabic-English Lexicon p. 2676
Lisaan al-‘Arab vol 3 page 393, that one of the meanings of the word “lahad" (translated here as shove) is poke.
In Taaj al-‘Aroos vol 9 page 145, it says that one of the meanings of the word “lahad” is to apply pressure.
As you can see it's a mistranslation, but why did it cause pain?
When you poke someone, push someone lightly, especially on certain parts of the body, it's gonna give you a little tickle/sting type of pressure.
When you poke yourself in the chest, you’re gonna feel a small amount of pain. This does not fall as physical abuse.
Now, if you read the hadith itself. The prophet did not intend to cause pain or to humiliate Aisha.
As you can see, islam does not promote physical abuse of your wife.
The Prophet said: "The best of you is the one who is best to his wife, and I am the best of you to my wives."
Sunan Ibn Majah 1977 (Graded hasan)
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